it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
