Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
It was confusing and full of hummus
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
