Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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