Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
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