Umm I'm too high to move.
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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