I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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