You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Randomize