She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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