I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
