Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
