I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
