i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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