is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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