I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
