Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
