Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
