I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
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