you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
