I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
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