My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
