I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
