remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
