so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
soo... how was my night?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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