are you so shy because you have an std?
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
As shirtless as possible
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize
