Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
she told me i tasted like america
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
