Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
It's rum buckets o'clock
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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