We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Did I show you my penis last night?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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