First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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