Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
