What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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