i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
