i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
