I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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