It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
