I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
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