Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Randomize
