Please, let me fuck your mom
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
we should paint friendship bongs
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
