Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
