you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Randomize