apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
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