I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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