How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
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