did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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