so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
