when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
