I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
