Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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