that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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