I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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