No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
