He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
