mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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