you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize