Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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