quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
