I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize