Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
