Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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