You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
