i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
