That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
