come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
