I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
