I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
