I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
The feeling are messing with the penis
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
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